Lucy manages a large team of sales representatives. She knows her people well, takes an interest in their lives and genuinely cares about how they’re doing.

Some employees struggle with child care or financial pressures. Others are dealing with family problems, loneliness, anxiety or the everyday stresses of balancing work and personal responsibilities.

Lucy wants to be supportive. She makes time for regular check-ins, listens when employees are struggling and tries to help them work through challenges that affect their performance.

But those conversations take time and emotional energy. And while Lucy is expected to support her employees, she is also expected to meet sales targets, maintain productivity, motivate her team and deliver results.

Her company’s senior management regularly emphasizes the importance of employee wellness. Managers are encouraged to demonstrate empathy, recognize signs of distress and create a supportive work environment.

These are worthwhile expectations. But I wonder whether organizations have fully considered what they’re asking of managers, particularly when those managers are already dealing with demanding jobs and pressures of their own.

Recently, Lucy admitted something she felt guilty even saying. She was tired of the seemingly endless “How are you doing?” conversations. She found them tedious, stressful and exhausting.

She still cared about her employees. She simply felt she had nothing more to give. Lucy’s experience has something in common with compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is generally associated with professionals who regularly care for people experiencing suffering or trauma. It can involve emotional exhaustion and a reduced capacity to respond compassionately to others. While the pressures facing managers are different, continually responding to other people’s difficulties can also become emotionally draining.

I’ve noticed this among leaders I coach and interact with. They want to do right by their employees, but some are becoming increasingly uncertain about where their responsibilities begin and end.

Part of the problem, I believe, is that we haven’t always made a clear distinction between supporting employee well-being and taking responsibility for it.

Managers can create respectful workplaces, recognize when employees are struggling, address work-related problems and help people find appropriate support. But they cannot reasonably be expected to resolve every personal difficulty an employee faces or take responsibility for everyone’s emotional well-being.

Yet the distinction can become blurred when organizations encourage managers to take a greater interest in employees’ personal circumstances without explaining what that responsibility should involve.

Managers already have plenty to do. They’re responsible for performance, morale and engagement, while also being expected to pay close attention to the mental and emotional well-being of their teams.

Some welcome that responsibility. Others find it difficult to manage alongside their other duties. Even experienced managers can struggle with the emotional demands, particularly when they’re dealing with pressures of their own.

Unlike professional counsellors, most managers have neither the training nor the time to help employees work through complicated personal problems.

This creates a difficult situation. Managers want employees to feel comfortable raising concerns, but they may not know when a conversation has moved beyond what they can reasonably help with. They want to be compassionate, but they also need to get work done.

We shouldn’t be surprised if, when we ask people to step up and demonstrate an extended and elevated level of compassion, sometimes they get tired.

Nor should we assume that a manager who becomes frustrated or emotionally exhausted is somehow lacking in empathy. Sometimes managers are simply being asked to carry too much.

And sometimes the problems employees are struggling with come from the workplace itself. Sometimes employees are struggling because workloads are unreasonable, priorities keep changing or expectations are unclear. In those circumstances, listening sympathetically may help, but it won’t necessarily solve the problem.

Managers have an important role in recognizing and addressing these problems. But they also need the authority and support to make changes when necessary.

I believe most organizations genuinely want to create workplaces where people feel valued and supported. But good intentions aren’t enough. Managers need to know what’s expected of them, where to turn when an employee needs professional help and how much time they can reasonably devote to these responsibilities alongside their other work.

And we need to recognize that managers have limits, just like everyone else. If you’re a leader, you may have felt the burden of caring for others weigh heavily on your shoulders. You may find your interest and concern ebb and flow. Some days you may even feel like screaming.

This is understandable. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad manager or that you’ve stopped caring about your employees.

Here are a few things you can do when the emotional demands of managing people begin to feel overwhelming.

Recognize your limits. As a leader, you’re carrying responsibilities that can be emotionally demanding. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or frustrated from time to time. You can care deeply about your employees without being endlessly available to solve their problems.

Know what is yours to solve. Not every problem an employee brings to you requires you to find a solution. Sometimes your role is to listen, sometimes it’s to make a workplace adjustment and sometimes it’s to direct the employee to someone better equipped to help. You’re their manager, not their counsellor. Your primary focus should be on helping them succeed in their jobs.

Make your check-ins count. You don’t need to turn every conversation into an assessment of an employee’s emotional state. Ask what is going well, what is getting in the way of their work and what support they need from you. Give people opportunities to raise personal concerns without making those discussions an expectation of every meeting.

Look for problems you can actually fix. When several employees are struggling, look for patterns. Are workloads manageable? Are priorities clear? Can deadlines or responsibilities be adjusted? If the problem is beyond your authority to resolve, raise it with someone who can make the necessary changes.

Ask your organization for what you need. Be specific about the support that would help you manage these responsibilities. That might include training, guidance on difficult conversations or clearer expectations about your role. Know what professional resources are available, including employee assistance programs or counselling services, and how employees can access them. You don’t have to manage every situation on your own.

Have your own sounding board. Make sure you have someone you trust who will listen and offer perspective. That might be a colleague, mentor, coach or professional adviser. It’s fine to acknowledge that you face pressures, too, but be careful not to make employees responsible for your emotional well-being. Managers need support just as much as their employees do.

I believe compassion is an essential part of good leadership. Employees should know their managers care about them as people, not simply as individuals responsible for meeting targets. But caring doesn’t mean taking responsibility for every difficulty they experience. Organizations need to recognize that distinction and support managers in establishing reasonable boundaries.

Lucy doesn’t need to become less compassionate to be a more effective manager. She needs to know that she can care about her employees, help them succeed and still recognize the limits of what she can reasonably do.

Good leadership requires compassion. Not only for others, but also for yourself.

Rebecca Schalm, PhD, is founder and CEO of Strategic Talent Advisors, a consultancy that provides organizations with advice and talent management solutions.